i just pretend i know what im talking about 150% of the time
if you can’t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit
i think i just found my senior quote
THERE WAS A MAN ON BBC NEWS CALLED DR JOHN HOLMES.
Well someone’s parents shipped it like Fedex.
I ship so fast they call me DHL
There was a lad in my English class called John Holmes. I’d giggle a little every time the teacher did the register.
A news station was interviewing a man who lived near a dangerous intersection. It is known for an inordinate number of car crashes.
HE JUST KIND OF STEPS BACK
“oh see there you go son”
BALLS OF NONCHALANT STEEL
“See, now this is the kinda shit I’m talking about…”
will smith everybody
he’s so aggressively proud and determined to direct attention to his wife and son. first he’s like, LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY AND STRENGTH AND POWER AND SHE AGREED TO MARRY ME, and then with his son, he’s like LOOK, I MADE A THING, AND I AM PROUD OF THIS THING THAT I MADE.
I MADE A THING
i have a sweet tooth
which is a shorter nicer way of saying
if there’s candy of any kind anywhere nearby you bet your ass i will find it and i will eat it i know when there’s sugar close by i know
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
have u ever accidently opened photobooth and had your natural expression staring back at you
jennifer lawrence is interview gold (★)
Hells to the yes, i love Cosplay
wut thats seith as Loki!
FUCKING SHERLOCK ONE
I swear to god, it’s like they do it on purpose.
I’ve been so distracted by Jensen’s hips that I never noticed that little smirk on Misha’s face.
that smirk is literally saying ‘work it, baby’
it’s not just the smirk. it’s the nod. misha’s smirking and nodding like “oh yeah. work it baby.” pls
reason to not become an adult
- you can’t use the ‘my mum said i can’t go’ excuse to blow someone off
on the off-chance that you do become an adult you could upgrade the excuse to
- “sorry but i’m doing something with my mum that day”
so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all
WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO
oh my god when i was little i had a book and it had a story in it about a red flower-i think it was a red daffodil and it was always really sad because it was different to all the other daffodils and it wanted to fit in, but then someone came along picking flowers for her bridal bouquet and she wanted red flowers, and she had red tulips and roses and all kinds of red flowers and saw the red daffodil and thought ‘perfect!’ and put it in her bouquet for her wedding and the daffodil was so happy because it was with others of its kind now
- being ugly
- not sleeping
- falling over
- fitting my hand into the Pringles tube
- being awkward
- walking into walls